when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
