She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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