Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
