i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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