I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
