He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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