That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
