Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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