that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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