she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
