Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Alive.
So much puke
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
