Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
