Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
