Say something about gay babies.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
