this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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