He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
