I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
