so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
