is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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