ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wish you could order shots online.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
