Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
