Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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