Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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