im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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