Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
