I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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