I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
