can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
