oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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