Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The best revenge is premature balding
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
