My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize