So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
