What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
