he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Enjoy the penises
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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