sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
