Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize