He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize