Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
