Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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