we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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