i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
