I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
