It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
