awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize