apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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