i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
