My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
