brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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