woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
