Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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