id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
