Don't you send me to vm
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
