It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
