youre lurking in front of me
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
