You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
