just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
