STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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