So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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