Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wish I could teleport
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
