Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
