we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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